PAMPLONA, Spain (AP) — One elderly thrill-seeker was gored in a leg and five others slightly injured as thousands of adrenaline-fueled runners raced ahead of six fighting bulls in the streets of the northern Spanish city of Pamplona in the first running of the bulls of this year's San Fermin festival, officials said Saturday. Runners, in traditional white clothing and red kerchiefs around their necks, tripped over each other or fell in the mad daredevil annual rush along early morning dew-moistened slippery streets to the city's bull ring.So one septuagenarian and 5 other crazy people got gored or trampled by bulls as they purposely harassed and ran with them through the streets? The only problem I see is that there weren't enough bulls. There were "thousands" of people running. That's too much work for 6 bulls. Yeah, they got an average of one person each, but they are still working against pretty long odds. Plus, it's really unfair* to a lot of runners who barely get to see a bull, much less have the opportunity to accumulate scars instead of mere yarns.
I propose that next year, each runner have his own bull. That will up the challenge and news level no little bit. Those Spanish streets are narrow and can get pretty crowded, so to make sure there is no confusion over whose bull is whose, each runner ought to be fastened to the bull by a tether of about 10' length. And just to add to the festive atmosphere, the bulls need to have really big sparklers attached to their horns. I would love to see the story that would follow such a celebration of machismo: "Six Survive Running of the Fools."
* and probably racist, sexist, and heteronormative to boot.