1. Pretend like you're a mime locked in glass box.
2. Silently deliver Lincoln's Gettysburg Address to the other travelers. Pound the lectern for emphasis.
3. Practice your "Crane." You never know if they will try to sweep the leg.
4. Sneak up on and squash huge imaginary spiders. Don't forget to wipe your feet after each kill.
5. Stare at an old lady until you get her attention. Then mouth "help me" over and over.
6. Mimic every move the nearest TSA not-an-officer makes.
7. Talk on an invisible telephone with the guy in the next cage. Vehemently disagree with him.
8. The Ethiopian Shim Sham Sand Dance**.
* The extra time you gave yourself so TSA could not use your schedule against you.
** Seize this, Honkus.
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2 comments:
I was in the box a while back and I saw some guy messing with my laptop on the conveyor belt. So I started knocking on the glass door, and the TSA douchebag came over and said, "if you do that again I'm getting the police!" I asked what he thought I should do if I saw someone messing with my laptop. He didn't have a good answer. Fuck you, TSA.
Or he simply didn't care. The purpose of the box is to punish and humiliate people; it's like a pillory. It exists solely to make people so fearful of being singled out that they'll do whatever it takes to avoid it. The fact that that someone* was irritating you by going through your stuff makes the TSA guy's job easier, not harder. He figures your sense of helplessness will make you much less troublesome to him next time.
* probably a plainclothes TSA employee
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