- The SEC will draw up a list of 799 stocks and their "target prices." Sales of such stocks below the target price are prohibited.
- In order to discourage closing out of losing positions, the IRS will institute a tax on Capital Losses.
- A pizza party for you and 10 of your closest vice presidents at Bernanke's house for every interbank loan opened.
* by which is meant, "make the stock market go up."