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The saddest story ever told
It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times:
The last thing Marti Tracy wants to do on a Saturday is clip coupons. But last month the 34-year-old Bowie resident felt she no longer had a choice. She'd already given up organic meat and decided to buy organic milk only for her 2-year-old son, not for the whole family.
Tracy and her partner also stopped buying the cereals they like in favor of whatever was on sale; stopped picking up convenient single-size packs of juice, water or crackers; and, in order to save gas, stopped going to multiple stores. "I find the whole thing a huge hassle, but I've reached a tipping point," said Tracy, a government human resources specialist... How can one not be sympathetic to the plight of this federal government HR drone? She can no longer afford single packets of crackers, but must suffer with boxes where the crackers are packed together like Irish in a Boston settlement house. She has given up eating only the finest baby cows, dew picked and flown from Seattle, cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and then sealed in a succulent Swiss quintuple smooth treble cream milk chocolate envelope and lovingly frosted with glucose*, and now has to eat regular old hamburger like a commoner. Can you hear the violins? Me, neither. Weird.
You know, there are going to be plenty of hard-luck stories before this is all over. And the press will doubtless be filled with them, not just because they are news but because they provide the traditional warm-up for the Progressive national anthem, "Why Isn't The Government Doing Anything About This?" But the Washington Post is not off to a very auspicious beginning if they expect people in flyover country to do anything but laugh at stories like these. Are they really that out of touch? Or is it a double-ironic commentary on how little actual suffering there is in America?
* "Don't you even take the bones out?"
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Copyright 2008, El Borak, inc., makers of Lyin' Your Bass Off brand photogenic rubber game fish. When you need a picture of 'the one that got away,' try Lyin' Your Bass Off.
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