Escaping the Island of Misfit Toys

Vince McMahon is a freak. Part evil genius, part mad scientist, possibly insane, probably chemically-enhanced. On top of that, he's the only CEO in the country who pays his employees six figures a year to hit him over the head with steel chairs.

But he's no dummy, and I was quite pleased to see him decline* an invitation to sit in a chair so members of our clown congress could wag fingers at him and preen for the TV cameras:

I am extremely and exceptionally disappointed with [McMahon's] decision not to appear at this hearing. ... While I recognize that professional wrestling is not a quote, sport, unquote, it still requires significant athletic talent and is widely watched by our young people. I want to to assure Mr. McMahon that we fully intend to address the issue of steroid use in professional wrestling.

Steroid use in wrestling is rampant**, without a doubt. So what? Somehow the fact that kids buy plastic wrestlers puts WWE under the authority of this Island of Misfit Toys? One can make the argument that because professional sports leagues receive a specific exclusion from anti-trust laws, therefore Congress has some overriding interest in making sure those companies' employees don't break drug laws that apply to everyone else, too***. But the WWE gets none of that. Congress is just as justified in calling in Barnum and Bailey to investigate whether the bearded lady is chemically enhancing her Old Dutch.

I'm glad to see that Vince has the grapefruits to tell Congress, in so many words, "Shut your mouth and know your role." It's just too bad it won't do any good.

* No, I didn't miss the word 'respectfully' there.

** As to the question of whether Vince uses steroids himself, I will only say that the guy in that picture is 60. As for the wrestlers, I've noticed that a lot of them have become significantly smaller since that little problem with Benoit.

*** Not a very good one, as drugs and anti-trust exemptions are about as related as fish and bicycles, but an argument nonetheless.