Sunday, June 04, 2006

God's odds



Bible Scholars Predict 85% Probability of a Nuclear Terrorist Attack on the UN Complex in Manhattan on June 9 or 10

The true Bible code reveals ... that there will be 7 terrorist nuclear bombs before Armageddon, which is the final man made nuclear holocaust. The first of these bombs will hit the UN complex in Manhattan between sundown on Friday June 9th and Sundown on June 10th, this year...

The Lords’ Witnesses in all seriousness therefore beg everyone in NYC of any religious or anti religious persuasion whatsoever, who has faith that God can predict the future, to leave NYC before the second weekend in June...
The question is not, of course, whether God can predict the future but whether he lays odds. He doesn't, at least as far as I've seen. These verses do not appear in the bible:

Lot said, "Get out of Sodom, for there is an 85% chance the LORD will destroy this city."

Moses said, "Choose a lamb for each family and kill the passover, for there is an 85% chance the LORD will pass through to smite the Egyptians."

Joel said, "Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for there is an 85% chance the LORD will do great things."

The angels said, "Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? For there is an 85% chance Jesus will return in the same way you have seen him go."

Long-term readers might have noticed it bothers me no little bit when people mistreat the scriptures this way. Saturday will come and Saturday will pass, and if there's no nuke in New York (if you'd like to lay a wager, contact me privately. I'll offer 6-1 against. Bets payable in silver only), the gullible who scurried to Pennslvania will blame God for their gullibility and these false prophets will fall back on, "Hey, we only said the odds were 85%" or will disappear into anonymity altogether. And the rest of the world will snicker at the silly Christians. Paul once wrote that the Gospel was foolishness to the Greeks, but he didn't order us to act foolishly to give them an excuse not to believe.

This is more than just some wayward believers playing numbers games with the scriptures. When you speak for God, you are assuming the office of prophet. When you speak falsely in God's name, you bring shame not only upon yourself, but on his name as well.

But I guess I shouldn't get too worked up over it. After all, Jesus said, "There's an 85% chance false prophets will arise and deceive many. On second thought, make that 100%."

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