There's something about Lulu

"Watching a Train Wreck" is cliche, but the cliche is exactly what I felt while reading through the posts of my new favourite Lawrence wacko commenter, Lulu. One of the commenters on the LJ World site said reading what she had written would convince you that she cannot really be a real person. I don't know if that's true or not, but I could just not stop reading. Or laughing.

Therefore, I must present for your reading pleasure, some of the best of Lulu:

On the family values of bar hopping:

I love taking my kids with me when I have a drink or two or three at one of our local bars. The smoking ban is wonderful for parents and families. Thank you for letting my children attend my outtings. I no longer have to hire a baby sitter. I also go out more often which is good for businesses I guess, even though I don't care to be a contributor to the capitalist pig society we live in.

Thanks again smokiing ban yeah! Banning automobiles should be next! I'm tired of the polution.

On the Daylight Savings Conspiracy:

I encourage everyone to ignore the daylight savings time. It is good for nothing. Why do we have it? I propose Lawrence ignore daylight savings time as a message to the corporate fascist pigs that run our country. Not only does daylight saving not save us any energy, but it actually encourages us to use more energy.

When we have longer summer evenings, it encourages us to go out and spend money. Keeping us in the dark is the only way to go because people will be more rested and use less electricity because they will be in bed earlier and the corporate ripoff artists called big oil will lose and so will their partner in crime Bush.

On Dante:

I am mad as hell that our weather is getting warmer. Hurricane Bush is to blame because of Kyoto. Wake up and smell the coffee people!!!!!!!!!! Warmer winters , hotter summers and we are living in hell if you believe in a hell which I don't but it has to be like this and Dante's description. Give me the Four Seasons back like the good old days. Damn!!!!!

On drugs in the Public Schools:

There will never be enough money for our education system. Teachers don't get paid enough. Will the teachers get a raise after the court ordered windfall appears? I doubt it.

Thank god there is ritalin for our children. If it wasn't for ritalin the schools would've shut down years ago.

On flowers and vegetables

I am sick and tired of hearing about Terri Schiavo, LET HER DIE! She is dying with dignity and in peace. The press conference yesterday said she stopped urinating. Her brain is so far gone, she is a non-person anyway. They should've pulled the tube years ago.

Back to topic, stop the senseless spraying of weed killer. We'll be better off, including the defenseless animals and plants. I love dandelions. They are beautiful.

On the link between fireworks and gun violence:

Fireworks should be banned from sea to shining sea.

They make noise pollution, air pollution and dispense litter everywhere. They could promote aggressive behavior in young males which could lead to the use of handguns, violence, pyromania and more.

Ban them completely. They are essentially anti-American anyway.

On the freedom to follow her lead:

... Lawrence doesn't need uniformly, low-grade miserably designed environments that make people feel bad. High density gets people out of their cars. Most days I walk or ride my bike to work. Everyone should have to live the way I do. If low income people want a back yard... well, they can't have everything.

On Justice:

Bar owners should be the only ones who get the ticket if one of their patrons gets caught. They should be shut down for a week. That will show them who is boss. In a capitalistic pig society, the business should always be blamed for wrong doing, regardless of who did the wrong.

On Parental Rights:

One of my saving graces being a teacher were the 5 children I recommended be tested for Attention Deficit Disorder. Sure enough, school counseling realized my concerns and all 5 were eventually put on Ritalin by a physician. Two parents didn't like, so the state forced the issue. Not wanting to face the consequences, the parents obliged.

My job got easier to partake and the kids were very happy.

On Competition:

I do not like competitions. We are all winners and should be taught accordingly.

John Kerry is a fan of the Boston Red Sox and I am pleased his team won.

And it should not come as a surprise to discover that Lulu is also a public school teacher.